Work-Life Balance â it sure sounds good, but what exactly is it and how do you get it?Â
Work â life balance is the dynamic interaction between âworkâ and âlifeâ. âWorkâ is those tasks you must do to keep your life functioning â paid or unpaid, inside or outside of the home. And âlifeâ is those things you do for your own personal fulfillment â the things you really enjoy and want to do. âBalanceâ is the ideal blend of those two areas.
To move toward life balance, become aware of how you are spending your time. Notice where you are satisfied, where you may be imbalanced and what you would like to change.
Next create your own vision of a balanced day. How do your desire your ideal day to look while enjoying the perfect combination of âworkâ and âlifeâ?
Identify the obstacles that interfere with your quest for balance such as your own thoughts, words and actions. Also look at other obstacles such as other people’s opinions, schedules and actions.
And finally, put it all into âactionâ.  Awareness, desire and identifying your obstacles are important, but to move toward balance, you need to take action.
Work-life balance is not a destination. It is a dynamic state of awareness and choices. Try these simple tips to help move you toward the life you desire.
Story telling has been passed down through the ages from generation to generation. It is a way to pass down heritage, language, oral history, religion and explanations for the yet unexplained. It should be no surprise to us then that we are all master story tellers. We may no longer sit around a fire and look to the elders in our community for this ritual, but it still happens. When we are sharing our history or culture with our children, it can be a very rewarding and rich experience for all involved. But what happens when it is the âotherâ stories that we are telling?
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We all have them. You know the ones I mean. They are the stories that we tell ourselves about a situation or condition when we feel: Well that is always how itâs been. Think about it for a minute. It can be work related: My work is never recognized. I am always overlooked. I am sure I will never get that promotion, my boss doesnât like me. Family or relationship related: My kids donât ever do what I ask them. My spouse doesnât listen to me. What about the stories we tell ourselves about our self?
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We carry on with our lives as though the stories that we tell are true. In reality there is usually something else at play that we have not brought into our consciousness yet. When we go through our day, living in our stories, we filter others words through that system that we have in place. This leaves room for a lot of misunderstandings. Remembering that no two people will ever share the same experience exactly the same way, how do you start to identify your filters?
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The first step is noticing what you are hearing.
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Are you really hearing what someone is saying, or filtering it through your own interpretation? Are you making assumptions and filling in gaps of information to create a story about what is happening? Our brain is a master at filling in gaps of information. There is nothing wrong with that, but keep in mind that our brain works off of what it knows already and not what it doesnât know or hasnât experienced yet.
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When we work on ‘auto-pilot’ we will make assumptions based off of what we already know or are familiar with. The assumptions we make this way can have nothing to do with the situation or person that is involved. Think of a time when we are quite sure that someone has been intentionally rude or hurtful. It might be fair to say sometimes that they had no idea they had been that way. Over the long term, this can be damaging to our relationships. Our emotions that result in painful experiences can often have a deep rooted cause that we have long buried into our sub-consciousness. Each time we do that we leave our selves open to create another filter in which to hear and view our life through. Yet another story to tell.
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The ways around that are to raise our awareness and consciously ask questions about what we are experiencing. When we ask thoughtful questions we are opening up an opportunity to learn something different and as a result possibly a different way of being. Think about some of the assumptions you are holding or the stories you are telling. What is the impact? How does this affect your interactions with someone? Have you ever tried to have your assumptions confirmed or denied?
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We all have an obligation as participants in this game called life to be mindful of our own impact.
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Part of that responsibility is to be aware of our own assumptions and the impact we are having on those around us. This alone will cause a shift in your thinking and the way you experience life. It takes you from, that is just the way itâs always been, to being at choice in how you respond. It is time to turn off the auto-pilot, no more cruise control. This is your adventure, your life! Being a mindful captain of your ship allows you to navigate the waters with fresh eyes and ears. You are going to have some great sea stories to share anyway! Wouldnât it be best if they were fresh ones rather than same old?
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If you would like to comment or talk more about this, please drop me a line. I am always happy to hear from you.
Fulfillment in life is related to how well you are living in alignment with your values. Values are not morals or principles. They are the essence of who you areânot who you think you should be. For instance, money is not a value, whereas the things that money might buy, such as free time, risk-taking, and being of service are values. When youâre aligned with your values, you feel inner harmony, your choices are more easily made, and your actions are in accord with your true self.
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Take this quiz to see how well you are living in sync with your values.
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1. I have spent time clarifying my values and can easily articulate them.
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2. My values are my own. I have not simply adopted them from parents, teachers or other outside influences.
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3. I based my choice of occupation on my deepest values.
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4. My values are in alignment with the company I work for (or own).
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5. My business associates and I regularly examine how we are living up to our values and mission.
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6. I turn down money-making or status-building opportunities when they conflict with my values.
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7. In resolving disputes at work, I look beneath the apparent problem to see if values are being dishonored, and then I seek ways to honor them.
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8. Anyone looking at my life from the outside would see what I value.
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9. I use my values as a guidepost for making decisions. I ask if a particular choice would bring me closer toâor further fromâa core value.
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10. When I feel upset, itâs almost always because my values are being trampledâeither by me, someone else, or the situation.
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11. I am not easily swayed by othersâ opinions when they conflict with my values.
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12. To remain open and flexible, I am willing to re-examine my values to determine whether something is still true for me.
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13. I find creative ways to honor all of my valuesâeven when they conflict with one another.
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14. My work values are in harmony with my personal and relationship values.
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15. If I live according to my values, I will feel satisfied and successful throughout my life.
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If you answered false more often than true, you may wish to clarify your deepest values and bring your life into greater alignment with them. Please donât hesitate to call if youâd like support in doing this.
I would like the thank the staff and students at Maple Creek Middle School in Coquitlam, BC for inviting me to be a part of their annual Health & Wellness Conference. Such an amazing amount of co-operation and organization went into this one day event, I was truly impressed!
The Leader in You!
As a student you wear many hats; you are a brother, a sister, son or daughter, budding athlete, dancer, artist, musician, skateboarder, snowboarder, best friend…the list goes on. But who are you really anyway?
At this age it may not feel as though you have a lot of choice in your home life or school. You may not realize the impact that you have on your own day to day life.
⢠How do your thoughts, beliefs and behaviours impact your experience and how do they impact other people?
⢠You make choices all the time â What to eat? What to wear? How to fit in? Who to fit in with? But from where do you make these choices?
Being a powerful leader is learning about the impact that you make on your own life and those around you. You are a leader already when you take charge of your homework, play sports or be with a group of friends.
By learning more about what type of leader you are and what your impact is, you are able to make choices that are more meaningful to you, your goals, and the people around you
If you think you would be interested in, The Leader in You – Youth Impact Workshop for your school, please contact Michele.
No doubt about it, we live in a high speed world. Information and technology are changing fast. We have access to everything and anything in an instant. Sounds like life just got easierâŚor did it? Yes, it is wonderful that we live in this information age of instant email, texting and TiVo.
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It would seem like we finally live in the Jetson age â well almost! No flying ships for cars, yet! Ah yes, so much convenience, life is so smooth and well organized! Or is it?  Does this sound more familiar to you; you are running late, the kids have to get to school, lunchesâŚoh yes, almost forgot about that, traffic is a mess, hopefully you will be there on time for that meeting?! Did you put the laundry in the dryer, or is it still in the machine? Oh no, missed my turn off!
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As challenging as your home & work life can be, sometimes the biggest challenge of all is just staying motivated. We have a hundred tasks vying for our attention. Events happen in our personal lives that can get us off course. Or perhaps we work with difficult people but lack the authority to effect any change. They can all take their toll on our motivation levels.
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And yet these days, most of us donât have the luxury of performing at anything less than our peak. Hitting that peak day after day is a challenge in its own right. But if we pay attention to the basics, and lock them into place, we can stay on a strong course.
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The very first place to start is to assess whether you really believe you can achieve your goals. This may seem obvious, but the importance of this point is easy to overlook. As motivational speaker and trainer Brian Tracy puts it, you simply cannot achieve something you donât believe you can achieve. A related point has to do with making sure your work is aligned with your talents and your values. To work at your peak, what you do must, over time, be in sync with what you enjoy doing and with what you believe in.
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Even when you are completely in alignment with your goals, you are still bound to hit occasional roadblock when you look at the piles of papers, the seemingly endless to-do list, the voicemail light flashing, the email alert blinking and it all seems too much.
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Here are some ideas to get going and stay going at a peak level:
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Start each day with a review of your goals. In a 24/7 world, itâs easy to lose sight of where you ultimately want to go. Take the 30 minutes at the beginning of each day, when your mind is still clear, to review your goals. Start with your big goals and then put todayâs work in the context of achieving them. If there is a chronic discrepancy between your long-term goals and what you are planning to work on today, it will unmistakably emerge in these early morning sessions.
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Figure out your ânext actions.â When you are overwhelmed with a seemingly endless to-do list, many motivational experts recommend starting with anything in order to âget some points on the boardâ by checking something off the list. While doing something may be better than doing nothing, doing the right thing is better still. David Allen, a well-known productivity consultant, recommends identifying the next physical action required for each of your open projects. That way, your to-do list is not encumbered with everything, but just with the ânext things.â No matter what you do on the list, you will be accomplishing something that matters.
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Do nothing. Another way to sustain your motivation is to periodically do nothing. Turn off your Blackberry, hibernate your computer, shut down your iPodâactually take 20 minutes or so to truly do nothing but sit and relax. If you are unfamiliar with this process, the first time will seem like torture after about five minutes. But with a little practice you will find that a brief respite of real quiet can be tremendously rejuvenating.
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Look to your energy levels. Consider the advice of performance consultants Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz who say, âEnergy, not time, is the fundamental currency of high performance.â After years studying professional athletes, they realized that in many ways, your brain is exactly like the muscles in your body. Too much work will strain it and you will perform below your peak. (Too little mental work will cause the same result, but not many of us face that issue.) In their book The Power of Full Engagement, Loehr and Schwartz say that stress is important to maintain motivationâprovided that you build in sufficient recovery time. Their techniques for managing your energy levels range from taking 10-15 minutes for a walk around the block every couple of hours, to changing your diet, to building in recovery time after the work day ends and it is time to re-engage with your family.
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Did you catch that? Build in sufficient recovery time for yourself i.e. taking a walk (10-15 min. is doable, it takes that long to get coffee!), changing your diet (be aware of foods that zap your energy, drink plenty of water!), give yourself a time out before reconnecting with family (take a few minutes to breathe, jot down a note if something is pressing on your mind, clear your head of your day!).
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Having these blocks in place doesnât guarantee smooth sailing, or flying in the Jetson world, but it does set you up to have the best possible chance for sustaining a level of motivation that will contribute positively to your success. Feel free to contact me with questions or comments.
Time is the great equalizer. Everybody gets the same amount: 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour. We canât save time or accumulate or rearrange it. We canât turn it off or on. It canât be replaced.
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But these days, it seems as if the lament of not having enough time has become everybodyâs âstoryâ. Everywhere people find themselves constantly in a rush, over-booked and over-scheduled with no time off. Life is accompanied by the ongoing stress of not enough time. And sometimes doing too much and being too busy can be a way of numbing feelings or disguising depression or anger.
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Though it may not always seem so, how we fill our time and how we spend it is our choice.
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Answer the following questions to discover if youâre caught up in the âtoo-busyâ cycle.
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1.     I constantly find myself doing âurgentâ things and trying to catch up.
2.     I allow myself to drift into obligations when I donât know how much time or energy theyâll require.
3.     I find myself running from when I get up in the morning until I go to bed at night. Iâm always tired and never feel like I accomplished enough.
4.     I seldom schedule a day off for myself and when I do, I tend to fill it with activities. Hmm, sound familiar?
5.     I donât make time for âself-careâ activities: physical exercise, nurturing or âpamperingâ myself, spiritual well-being, learning something new, playing, or simply doing nothing.
6.     I seldom have time to do the things I really love.
7.     My work and project areas are cluttered with âIâll look at this laterâ stacks and âto-doâ piles.
8.     I often miscalculate how long certain activities will take.
9.     I often miss deadlines or work long hours to meet a deadline.
10. I respond to interruptions such as phone calls, faxes, email, beepers and pagers, and allow them to take me off track.
11. I try to keep things in my head rather than making lists. If I do make a daily âto-doâ list, itâs impossible to complete in a day.
12. I tend to move from one urgent thing to the next, rather than working toward specific goals and objectives.
13. I find myself constantly wishing I had more time, making comments such as âas soon asâŚâ or ânext yearâŚâ
14. I spend time running errands and rushing because I didnât plan well enough.
15. I spend time doing things I could pay someone else to do.
16. I often do things because I âshould,â or continue to do things that no longer fit who I am.
17. Other people complain that my schedule doesnât allow enough time for them.
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So, how did you do? If you would like to look deeper at some of your answers, give me a call or pop me an email for a complimentary session.
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It is easy to say, âThatâs just the way it isâ. Well, right now, maybe it is, but it doesnât have to be that way. It is your choice. Letâs explore the possibilities!
This one day workshop will be held at the Winslow Center in Coquitlam on September 1st, 2009.
Resilient Schools – Thriving in the 21st Century!
The Resilient Schools program is grounded in effective schools research and will assist educators with developing a comprehensive, school-wide strategy to develop resiliency for everyone learning and working in the school environment. ~ The Resiliency Institute
If this program sounds like something you would like to learn more about – please contact, Michele, by email or phone.
Whether you are talking to your spouse, boss, co-worker, or your child, you need to get your message across to them. You need to be heard, but just as important, you need to hear. Communication is a two-way street. Are you ready to learn the rules of the road? Are you ready to learn How to Communicate With Power and Influence? Sign up for our e-newsletter and receive this Special Report for free!